

GET OUTFITTED

Tales from the trail
Doubles as a camp sink, shower, folds down great to make a dog bowl, keeps the large trash pandas away when used as a hang bag.
Best use yet is when I put it over my head while plundering campsites in the nude.
I received an early test run of these fine sleeping accessories and thought they would be perfect for a canoe trip down the snake river. The sleep mask is the best one I have ever used. As soon as I put it on I drifted off to dream land, which was rather unfortunate as I was caught up in some class seven rapids. My kayak overturned and I was bashed from rock to rock but this bullet proof nocturnal eyewear shielded me head from everything that the Chattahoochee was able to throw at me. I never even woke up. I guess that a passing gar noticed my beloved mask and couldn’t resist stealing it as I snored on. Without my slumber aid I quickly woke up and swam for the shore. I knew I was up a creek without a paddle so I sat down to take stock of my situation. All my gear was destroyed! Somehow even the anvil I had secured in my pirogue had snapped in half like a dry stale piece of spaghetti. I was in real trouble, then I spotted my salvation. My Frost River pillow case (pat pending) was hidden under a nearby bush. I was saved. Quickly securing the case I used it to chop down a dead tree by using the edge of the inner seam. Then this miracle of manufacturing proved perfect for a string on a bow drill. The next day I used the pillow cover as an impromptu boat to continue floating down the Yukon. My life had finally begun to return to normal, when all of a sudden a griz attacked. Jumping out of the pillow cloth I instinctively shielded myself. The bears claws shattered as it tried to rip through to me. That griz just sat down and stared in dumbfounded wonder. This gave me ample time to grab a small boulder that I dropped in the pillow cloth. Swinging with all my might I dispatched the bear . After having a great meal of bear meat that I shared with all the locals I hopped back into the pillow cloth and continued my journey down the Kansas river. The rest of the trip was rather uneventful but I promise you that I will never go outside again without my Frost River Sleep System (Pat Pending) . Thank you Frost River.